rant-y Monday!!!

I just felt the need to rant! I just thought when you are honest you don't need to explain just because you only give what you truly have. Today, I was a bit confused with things and knowing that a few changes will be made within my working environment, I wish I can adapt even just until the duration of my stay here since this year should be my year of CHANGE. There are a lot of possiblities and my chances of leaving things behind is high. Plus I also will it! Provided I was given with the right timing and everything in place. Mom likes it too and she's been pushing for it for quite some time now. Anyway, I have a different issue today. It's not about my leaving or whatever, it's just about work. I'm just confused with some things. Doing this before and doing the same thing now seems different on ones point of view. Now I'm not sure how it should really be. Like I'm not sure if ms. jay is just lacking trust on us or if the person just really needs extra explanations and reasons for those things to be understood, cause I don't see the need for it. I don't know. This makes me feel even more confused and uncomfortable. And uncomfortable for me means green light. Thinking about it now.. hmm.. Why am I even here? I just remembered two years ago while hunting for a job and I thought while I wait for my real goal, I can have a stop over for an income. My first job, well, it happened so fast ended just two and a half days later. My second job, hmm.. quite an improvement I may say, I made it three days! lol. and now this.. Two years! I've been waiting for more than two years.. and thinking  about it.. I don't regret but I felt it might have been different if I waited a little longer. It's good that I was with a great company, but then it's not my passion. It is what it is, a job, a work. A daily task that I am obligated to do. I don't dislike it but I don't like it either. It just falls under my category of "bearable".

And now, I'm seriously thinking about what 2012 should be for me. Surely, I'll push through with my plans of leaving! I should! cause I crave for something else. I want more. I would! cause I wanted change. I must! cause that's what I need. I want a new space to grow.. I want a new place to explore..


♥